How can I create the life I’ve dreamed of? I have a vision, but how do I put it into place? Please help.
The journey begins with your first step. It is not as complicated as it seems. Keep your vision in mind and decide on a single step. Do you need to connect to a person? Set up a bank account? Write a buisness plan? Pick an area of focus, and you’ll find your first step. Don’t worry about what comes next – just do one thing at a time. This is all it takes – one foot in front of the other. Let yourself feel the momentum as you go and be okay with going in fits and starts. This is just how it goes sometimes. Soon enough you’ll hit your stride –
Then you’ll be writing back wondering how to manage it all.
I’ll be here when you do.
Go to it!
Do you know what you want to be when you grow up? I am still trying to figure this out.
What an interesting question. Of course I know what I want to be when I grow up – I’ve known since the day I was born – just like you. Sounds like you’ve either forgotten who you really are, or you’re not listening to the nudges you’ve been receiving for years – things like knowing what you’re doing when you feel totally and completely alive and activities you love so much you completely lose track of time. When you put those pieces together, you’ll know more of what you want to be when you grow up – and more importantly who you really are.
Ok, now I’ll answer your question.
When I grow up I would like to travel the world, because I think it will help me understand people better. I love people. Also, I just think it will be fun.
I’d really love to help people see the beauty of who they really are, and I think I’d also like to make some art and share it with the world.
So, if you want me to put it in grown-up terms where you ‘grown-ups’ insist on having a label for everything – I suppose when I grow up I want to be a Traveling Artist.
Doesn’t that sound like fun?
I can hardly wait! But, my mom always tells me not to be in a hurry to grow up.
I think she’s pretty smart.
What is the best way to ask for a raise?
Feeling Worthy in Washington
Dear Feeling Worthy in Washington,
I am glad you asked.
First, (and it sounds like you know this already) you have to know you’re worth it.
This is an absolute must.
Then, you need to state your case. What have you brought to the table, and what else do you promise to bring in the future?
This needs to be a win for the other side, as well.
When you’re through, ask for it.
This is where most people fall off the bus. Don’t be one of those people.
Look your boss in the eye and ask for a raise.
Then, just wait. Do not say another word until he/she responds. (This is the next spot where people fall).
Don’t fill the space with your justifications of why you deserve it. You already stated your case.
What happens next will tell you if you want to stay at your current job or maybe look for something new. Whatever the case, at least you asked.
That is the best you can do.
People say you only get one shot at life. I’m worried I’m wasting mine in a dead-end job. What should I do?
Hopelessly Hanging on in Hanover
Dear Hopelessly Hanging on in Hanover,
Relax! I can feel the stress in your letter.
It’s true you need to go for it with all you’ve got in this lifetime.
It is why you’re here – to share your best self – with the world.
Before you jump ship, ask yourself these three questions:
1. What do I love?
2. What am I good at?
3. Who will support me?
This should at least get you thinking your way out of your dead-end job.
Begin to build your energy around those gifts and passions of yours. Let them come first even though you still have to work.
You’ll know when the time is right to make the jump. For now, just build up to it.
I can’t wait to see what you have to share with the rest of us!
I’ll be here when you’re ready to play!
How can I move forward if I’m stuck in the past?
Letting go of the past can seem easier said than done. It is important to honor where you came from and allow all that is to come.
You can begin with small steps. Decide to do something different each day. It can be as simple as trying a different flavored coffee, or reading a different newspaper than you normally read. This will start to create a “Yes, I can change” attitude and move you out of stucksville.
As you begin to move in small ways, imagine your life as you would like it to be. Don’t hold back here – Really have fun with this. What are you doing? Who are you with? How does it feel?
Sometimes when we are faced with a choice, our fear of loss can cloud what is waiting for us.
Let your vision of what you want to be stronger than the fear.
You can do this!
Most importantly, let yourself play. This alone will change you.
Hope this helps.