Where Is My Success?

Dear Molly,

When will I know I am successful?  I have been working for 40 years, and I still feel I am chasing something.  My time is running out, and I want to know when I will get there.

– Mary

Dear Mary,

What are you chasing? What is success? This definition may be different for everyone.  I’m not sure what it means to you.

Are you comparing yourself to others wondering how you stack up?

Do you have your own internal measure of success?

You have to know first what you are chasing to know when you’ll get there and then you have to decide if it’s really worth it.

Personally, I think success comes from following your heart, having fun, doing what you love, and making a difference in the lives of others.

Check your expectations and define what success really means to you.  This will help you know when you get there.

Who knows, maybe you’re already there?

Whatever the case – Enjoy.

Love,

Molly

Not All Fun and Games

Dear Molly,

It’s great to be all fun and games, but let’s get real.  There are bills to pay, and I need to work.  I’d love to spend my days at the park like you, but I have to get food on the table.  What do you have to say about that?

– Todd

Dear Todd,

I respect the fact that you have to get food on the table.  I’d invite you over for dinner for a night off, but I don’t really love your attitude.

It’s half your problem.

How can you focus on fun and games when you’re so wrapped up in your stress?

If I were you, I’d just get my work done, get to the grocery store (maybe even have them deliver) and then get on with the business of living – which believe it or not, is supposed to be fun.

I might even put fun first for awhile to drown out some of that negativity.  That will help you start getting things back into balance.

Don’t be mad at me, because I’m 7 and my mom still cooks for me.

Focus on yourself – and let it be easy.

If you need help, ask for it.  Maybe you and your neighbors can cook for each other for awhile.  That ought to free up some of your time.

Now, what you decide to do with it is up to you.

Will you continue to complain or jump in and have some fun?

I hope for your sake and those that have to be around you, you choose the latter.

There’s always a way out.  The question is:

Can you see it?

Gotta run! Time for dinner!

Bon Appetit.

Love,

Molly

How To Recover From Loss

Dear Molly,

My marriage is falling apart, I might lose my house, and my job is not secure.  How do I deal with all of this trauma happening at once?

– Freddie

Dear Freddie,

Some times when we are not following our true paths, we experience a wake-up call.  Yours is dressed in a disintegrating marriage and possible loss all around, as it relates to your security (job, house, etc).

So, my question to you is this –

How secure are you on the inside minus everything that is happening all around you?

Next, do you really love this man?  If you do, some changes need to be made.  Are you getting what you need?  Are you free to be yourself?  Do you really feel the connection?  Or, are you holding on to something that is actually not serving you?

Be honest with your answers.

As for your house and job…

What do you do for a living?  Energy spent on a job you don’t care for will detract from all other areas of your life.  This may be necessary for now, but it doesn’t have to be permanent.  Think about what you’d really love to do and watch (and feel) how this shifts your energy.  This transition won’t happen all at once – so don’t make any rash moves.  It sounds like, however you may have a career move in your future.  Think beyond your present circumstances.  Ultimately, what I see is – you are being asked to let go.

Let go of the idea that security comes nicely packaged in the form of a marriage license, house and job.

Redefine it.

Could you lose your marriage, your house and your job and still know who you are?  If not, this is exactly the question you need to face.

This is not about your husband or anything else – this is about you and your willingness to be true to who you are.

Your life will re-shape as you address this core issue.  Some times it just has to get a little messy before you get it right.

I fall down all the time, but I always get back up.

You can too.

Love,

Molly