I’m in need of a vacation, but I don’t have the funds for it right now. I definitely need a change in scene to recharge my batteries. What do you suggest?
– Recharging in Ragtown
Dear Recharging in Ragtown,
Can you plan for one in a few months?
Figure out where you want to go and what you want to do. This will motivate you. Maybe even gather up some pictures, so you can begin to see it as real.
Come up with a budget without looking at your current financial situation. Then think about how you could bring in some additional income. Maybe you could work just a few extra hours somewhere to build your travel nest egg. When you assign a fun reason for working extra, it won’t seem like such a drag! Stick to the plan and let yourself use that money for your trip.
Even though it won’t be happening right away, it might help your energy just to anticipate it’s coming. Figure out your plan for timing by aligning your desire with how much you want or need to work in the meantime.
You could also cut expenses in other areas of your life and redirect it to a travel fund.
In the meantime, carve out a mini-vacation for yourself 1x/week. It doesn’t have to cost much, or anything at all. Just do something nice for yourself to keep your spirits high.
Have fun both planning and vacationing! Sometimes the anticipation is just as great as the trip!
I want to try some new activities, but I’m not that great at sports. I’m nervous about jumping in and trying something new. I’ve never really been an “athlete.” What do you suggest?
– Akward Athlete in Addison
Dear Akward Athlete in Addison,
I love sports! You are in for some fun!
Don’t worry about how good you are at it – that’s not the point. Just enjoy yourself!
Since you’re feeling nervous, why don’t you start with what they label “beginner” classes or leagues (even though you’d be fine elsewhere too) – It will help soothe your nerves. Just the idea of it being “basic” will help you ease into it. Then when you build your confidence with it a bit, take another step up.
So many choices – I’m excited for you! Tennis, baseball, soccer, swimming. Try a bunch, and see what you like the best!
You’ll definitely find one that clicks. Promise.
What do you do when you feel like you’re getting too old for something and play the tapes of shoulda/coulda/wouda? There are some decisions in my past I might do differently like deciding to chase my dream before starting a family. Worried it’s too late.
– Finding Dreams in Fandango
Dear Finding Dreams in Fandango,
You can never wait too long. There’s always the potential to start today and create the path you want. Always. Every day. New beginnings are possible.
Trust this. It’s true.
Live your dream and have a family.
Sounds like a dream come true to me!
I’m going through some hard times. It seems everything is falling apart, and I don’t know why. I’m scared this downward spiral is never going to end. How do I stop the downward momentum and find my way back?
– Crash and Burn in Crookston
Dear Crash and Burn in Crookston,
I’m sorry you’re going through hard times. Sometimes it’s our own thought process that gets in the way of recovery. Hard to believe, I know, but if you can come around to the idea you can start to take hold of some of your thoughts and get them moving in the direction of positivity and forward momentum – even in the middle of destruction.
What type of grounding practice do you have in your life? If nothing, that’s okay – perfect time to start something that will help you feel better and can look forward to preferably on a regular basis – walking or yoga or something you enjoy.
When things fall apart materially, we need to think what it is that helps us feel stable and secure on the inside. It really is an internal process. In essence, you can rebuild yourself from the ground up, and as you do you’ll feel empowered to put the external pieces back together too.
Maybe it’s time to create a whole new puzzle. Destruction has a way of putting you in touch with – you. You may not see it now, so just trust me. You’ll look back one day and see it as a gift.
Until then, take it one day at a time. You don’t have to change everything at once. Pace yourself.
Do you have anyone you can talk to? Surround yourself with great people, who will positively support you as you move through.
I hope everything turns out okay. I’ll be thinking of you.
I met this guy a few years ago, but the timing wasn’t right. He was great, and I think about him sometimes, wondering if I should get back in touch with him or let it go? What do you think?
– Looking for Love in Longmont
Dear Looking for Love in Longmont,
What would be your purpose for getting back in touch with him? I would clarify that first. That way you can be clear about your expectations for the situation. Then you can prepare yourself for either response.
Sounds like you’re interested in being more than just friends. Maybe you can start with a phone conversation and just get back in touch. See how it feels, find out what he’s been up to and go from there. Trust your heart. It will tell you if it’s right. Always be willing to risk when it comes to love if it’s what you really want. If it doesn’t work out, at least you’ll know you gave it your best shot, and you won’t have to wonder.
Hope it turns out the way you want it to.
I’m feeling overwhelmed with too much going on in my life right now. I know I’m busy and doing a lot of things, but lately I just don’t know they’re the things I really want to do. It feels like I’m being pushed from this thing to that. How can I take more control of my life? (and enjoy myself too?).
Overwhelmed in Ontario
Dear Overwhelmed in Ontario,
Great question! I’m sure you’re not alone on this one. It’s easy to get caught up in the rat race of life – without paying too much attention to the role we’re actually playing in it. First line of business is to always create some ‘white space’ in your life or day. This will give you room to pause and really contemplate what it is that you want. Start there. Make a list of desires. Compare your current life to your list and see where you’re hitting the mark and where you need change.
You can either subtract something that’s not working for you, or add something that will bring you more joy. Whatever the case, it’s important, because you’re the one making the choice! This is how you start to gain control of your life.
Hope this brings a little relief for you. Enjoy the changes and the fresh energy they bring!
I have an opportunity to go back to school, but I don’t know if I should take it. I’d been thinking about it for awhile, and then something grabbed my attention about it again just recently. I’ve already worked for many years, and I just don’t know if it’s worth it. Can you help me with some insight or guidance?
– To School or Not to School in Tuscaloosa
Dear To School or Not to School in Tuscaloosa,
Are you passionate about what you would be going back to school for? Is it something you will enjoy – not just when you’re done and because of what it will do for you – but something you can really enjoy along the way?
If so, I would say it’s totally worth it. You might even find opportunities while you’re there to use your knowledge along the way, so it doesn’t feel like you have to wait until you graduate to do something with it. Will you be working at the same time, and does your job intersect with what you’ll be learning? (That’s kind of what I’m talking about, but there are other creative ways to use it too).
Something I always recommend too when you’re not sure about a decision is to close your eyes, and take a few breaths. Then ask yourself if this is something you really want and why. Trust the first thing that comes – It’s usually right!
Whatever you decide – have fun!
What happens when you wait too long to change? Right now I have that feeling of discord – there’s this that I want that I haven’t moved into yet, and then there’s where I am – which doesn’t feel quite right anymore. How can I bridge the gap?
– Middling in Montana
Dear Middling in Montana,
Transitions. Not an easy thing. Are you feeling discord because you’re longing for something you don’t have, or is the discord because what you wanted came and went, and you didn’t go with it?
Make peace with where you are – it will provide you more mobility as you begin to trek forward. If you can’t do that, you’re sure to spin your wheels.
After all, it is the journey along the way that counts, isn’t it?
You don’t want to move so fast you miss your life. Just remember that as soon as you arrive wherever you are going, something else will call you forward to expand, so don’t worry too much about the outcome. Just enjoy the ride (that should help with your feeling of discord).
By the way, where are you “going?” Is it somewhere fun?
I hope so!
I’m having trouble with a friend. She doesn’t like the same things I do. In fact, we’ve really grown apart. What do you recommend?
Sometimes people change. Maybe it’s for the best you two take some space from each other. There’s always the potential for coming back together if the intersection feels right. Sometimes what happens is this: people are in the process of growing and changing all the time, and not all of our growth goes at the same pace, so while she may be in one place, you may be in another. One is not better than the other, but for a new union or friendship to be successful you will have to meet each other on each of your “new paths.” It will work, or it won’t – you’ll know right away. Don’t take it personally, or feel bad about it – just remember we’re all constantly evolving, and breaks and space are needed to allow new growth.
Hope this helps.
Can you please help me figure out how to increase my finances, so I can do what I love?
Financially Frugal in France
Dear Financially Frugal in France,
You need money first to do what you love? Hmmm…I’m not sure about that. What do you love? Is there a way to do it on a smaller scale first? Your passion and your energy will help you create the money. Trust there’s a way. Do anything you can to raise your level of enthusiasm, and the ideas for how to bring the money to you will flood into your consciousness.
When you get excited about an idea – act on it. You’ll be swimming in money in no time.
Can I have some?
Just kidding. 🙂
Have fun and feel good.