I just got in a big fight with my friend. She always tries to boss me around, and I’m getting sick of it. How do I talk to her about this, or maybe it’s just time to move on and find some better friends?
– Bickering in Blaine
Dear Bickering in Blaine,
Relationships are always a two-way street. Your friend might be bossing you around, but you’re the one who has allowed it up until now. So, you’ve already done the first step, which is to decide you won’t let people treat you like that anymore. If you want to continue the relationship, you can simply let her know how you feel. Say something like, “I feel ________ when you speak to me like that. She might get defensive but hold your ground and continue the conversation.
Let her know you’re making some changes in your life, and tell her what you need from the relationship/friendship. If she is willing to look at herself and is open to listening to what you need, that will tell you a lot. Ask her what she needs from you too, and take responsibility for your role in the relationship. This can actually make your relationship better and stronger.
If she doesn’t respond well or is not willing to change the way she communicates with you, you can either decide to let it continue or walk away. If you walk away, make sure you respect yourself as the person you’ve now become, so you attract friends who treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
Hope this helps.
What do you recommend I do about this situation? I don’t want to live where I’m living anymore, but I don’t know where to go. I’ve wanted to move for awhile, but whenever I think about where, i can never come up with a definitive place. I feel like I’m being indecisive, but maybe I really don’t know? How can I get more clear about this, and then take the leap to do it?
– Time to Move in Tinseltown
Dear Time to Move in Tinseltown,
You might not know, because you’ve been stuck where you are for so long, nothing seems like it will be different. Why don’t you start with a trip? Do a little traveling and test the waters a bit. Do you like the water? The mountains? Do you want to live abroad? Book some short trips to cities you are drawn to. Don’t worry if before you leave, you can’t see yourself living there. It’s about the process. Each venture out will help you become a little more clear. Then, when you’re ready to take the leap, you’ll be able to do so with a little more confidence.
I would like to travel more, and it is currently not in my budget. How can I start making space for this? I would like it to become a more regular part of my life. Please help me make this happen!
– Wanderlusting in Westchester
Dear Wanderlusting in Westchester,
This is easier than you think it will be. Once you make space for and enjoy the first trip, it will set the energy in motion for you to keep going with it. The joy and vitality you will feel from getting away will allow you to start easily formulating solutions for designing your life. Simply begin to choose your destinations, and enjoy the process of anticipation. Get excited, and pick a few! This will be rejuvenating for you. Then commit to the one you want to do first, even if you don’t yet have the resources. The money will show up for you. Once you commit, the path will begin to show itself to you. Trust yourself as you carve this out – and LET YOURSELF enjoy it! This process really works, I promise. Ask and receive. Have fun! I love traveling.