Losing Yourself In Love

Dear Molly,

I’m having trouble in a relationship.  I just don’t think I want to be in this one anymore, but I’m comfortable and we know each other so well.  I want to move on, but I don’t know how.

Lost in Love in Louisville

Dear Lost in Love in Louisville,

Sometimes relationships come to an end.  I know it can be sad, but some are not meant to last forever.  We meet people for a reason.  They teach us things about ourselves.  They help us see what we really want – sometimes by showing us what we don’t want.

It is great to be comfortable, but if it is not giving you what you need and you have done everything you can to grow with it to no avail, it is time to move on.  First, take some time to be with yourself and see how you contributed to the dynamic of the relationship.  What was it that attracted you to this person in the first place?  What need did they fill for you back then that is no longer working for you or what you need now?

Sometimes we outgrow people.  Sometimes we’re not solid enough yet in who we are when we come together with someone, which caused us to pick a person who wasn’t quite right.

Trust your intuition.  If you are feeling it is time to move on, you are probably right.  Have the courage and self-respect to do so.  Your first step will be to make the decision.  Start there, and trust you will figure out the rest as you go.  Surround yourself with positive support from others, and give yourself time to heal.  When you are ready, if you so desire, you will have the chance to be with someone new – this time a little more aware of what you want and need.

Give yourself permission to make the choice that makes you happy.




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